I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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