Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
