Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
