I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
