I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
