how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
