for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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