He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
