then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
