So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
