he wants to bone in the snuggie
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
