I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
