You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
