Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
