Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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