She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
