He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
