if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
