Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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