The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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