i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
NoShamevember. You game?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
