Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
