This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
