i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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