just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
