I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I cockslap morals
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
