her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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