I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
