Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
