no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
