He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
