Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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