Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
