i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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