Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
