Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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