And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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