...so i touched it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
