Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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