Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
