I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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