this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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