yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
