perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
