Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
