We're facebook friends in real life
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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