would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
