she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
