Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
are you so shy because you have an std?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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