Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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