Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
