Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
