and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
