My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My life is pants optional.
He did a backflip because drugs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
